ForgivenDarkness

★ | Hello there my lovelies| ★
You are probably asking yourself. Who am i exactly? Well ...

✐ Dear Diary, Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, "I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad young boy that lost her loved one. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.

✎ Dear Diary, I made it through the day. I must have said " I'm fine, thanks " at least 37 times, and I didn't mean it once. And no one noticed. When someone asks " how are you? " they really don't want an answer.

✐ Dear Diary, I was wrong. I thought that I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend like it would all be okay. I had a plan, I wanted to change who I was, create a life with someone new, without the past, without the pain, someone alive. But it's not that easy. The bad things stay with you, they follow you, you can't escape them- as much as you want to. All you can do is be ready for the good, so when it comes, you invite it in. Because you need it. I need it.

✎ Dear Diary, this morning was different. There's change. I can sense it...feel it. For once, I don't regret the day before it begins. Because I know I will see him again. For the first time in a long time, I feel good. I tried. I want so much to make things right but every instinct in my body is telling me to be careful. What you don't know can hurt you.

✐ I would write... Dear Diary, today I convinced myself it was okay to give up. Don't take risks. Stick with the status quo. No drama, now is just not the time. But my reasons aren't reasons, they're excuses. All I'm doing is hiding from the truth and truth is that... I'm scared that if I let myself to be happy for even one moment that... the world's just going to come crashing down, and I... I don't know if I can survive that.

✎ Dear Diary, I am not a believer. People are born, they grow old, and then they die. That's the world we live in. There's no magic, no mysticism, no immortality. There is nothing that defies rational thought. People are supposed to be who they say they are and not lie or hide their true selves. It's not possible. I'm not a believer. I can't be..But, how can I deny what's right in front of me?


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`·.. I adore you all. ^^

Favorite stamps 'ever'
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